The Honest Truth about Breastfeeding

 Posted by on 7 July 2014 at 11:00 am  Children, Funny, Parenting
Jul 072014
 

This — How to Breastfeed Appropriately — is hysterical. Here’s a tidbit:

Tip #1: Use a cover. Every time. There are many fancy ones on the market. Damask. Lace-trimmed. Or how about a swaddling cloth (if it’s good enough to warm the baby Jesus, it’s good enough for your kid)? Statistics show that human beings love being in confined spaces. Babies are on their way to becoming full humans, so this applies to them as well. I personally eat many of my meals under a loosely draped fitted sheet in my bedroom and find it quite enjoyable.

Please do not use summer as an excuse to flash your flesh-toned milk bags. Just last week I ate an entire Italian sub under a handmade quilt in 90 degree weather skin-to-skin with a close friend to simulate summer breastfeeding. Were we hot? Yes. Were we uncomfortable? Yes. Did one of us briefly lose consciousness? Yes. Did we subject anyone to seeing nipples? NO.

And:

Tip #2: Use a bathroom. Who doesn’t love a public restroom? They’re full of exotic scents and sounds! The next time your needy baby starts fussing for a taste of chest drippings, run to the nearest stall or city outhouse.

Nursing standing up while trying to avoid bacteria and holding a wriggling child has the added benefit of strengthening your core muscles. That postpartum tummy will be gone before you know it, making you more attractive to the general public. It’s summer, after all — bikini season!

I should have recognized the author as The Honest Toddler from the first paragraph!

On a more serious note, I answered a question about public breastfeeding on the 8 April 2012 episode of Philosophy in Action Radio. If you’ve not yet heard it, you can listen to or download the relevant segment of the podcast here:

For more details, check out the question’s archive page. The full episode – where I answered questions on cultivating good luck, public breastfeeding, national identification card, mulling over memories, and more – is available as a podcast too.

Goats Riding Horses

 Posted by on 24 June 2014 at 2:00 pm  Animals, Funny, Horses
Jun 242014
 

No really, this is a compilation video of goats riding horses!

Suddenly, I want a goat!

12 Types of Procrastinators

 Posted by on 13 June 2014 at 10:00 am  Funny, Productivity, Psychology
Jun 132014
 

The 12 Types of Procrastinators… what kinds are you?

I’m a panicker, list maker, social sharer, sidetracker, snacker, gamer, watcher, and a perpetuator! So yeah, I’m a pretty stellar procrastinator!

The creator of this gem — Twenty Pixels — has awesome coffee mugs for sale based on it. Go check them out!

On a more serious note, check out these interesting articles on procrastination:

  • How I Stopped Procrastinating: Merrill Markoe writes “Here’s what I learned: First thing in the morning, before I have drowned myself in coffee, while I still have that sleepy brain I used to believe was useless — that is the best brain for creative writing. Words come pouring out easily while my head still feels as if it is full of ground fog, wrapped in flannel and gauze, and surrounded by a hive of humming, velvety sleep bees.”
  • Why Writers Are the Worst Procrastinators: Megan McArdle makes a compelling case that procrastination among writers is often the product of smart people relying too much on natural talent, as opposed to effort, and thereby adopting a “fixed mindset” about their work. That’s been a major realization for me.
  • To Stop Procrastinating, Look to Science of Mood Repair: Basically, look for the emotional root of your procrastination, then imagine yourself in the future to correct that.
  • The Surefire First Step to Stop Procrastinating: I often use this technique — whereby I make a deal with myself that I only have to work on this project for, say, 30 minutes, and then I can quit if I’m not into it — and it’s quite helpful. Maybe I should lower my threshold to 5 minutes though!
  • No Studying After 5pm: Using Parkinson’s Law to Kick Procrastination’s Ass: I have a tendency to delay work until the evening, then stay up too late working, and then not get enough sleep. Giving myself a clear deadline for the end of work might help me break that cycle — and make room for tasks that I can’t seem to fit into my day at present, like reading.

Now… get back to work!! :-)

“If Asians Said The Stuff White People Say”

 Posted by on 10 June 2014 at 7:00 pm  Culture, Funny
Jun 102014
 

If Asians Said The Stuff White People Say:

Paul says this stuff to me all the time! :-)

Rube Goldberg Machine of Animals

 Posted by on 6 May 2014 at 1:00 pm  Animals, Funny, Personal
May 062014
 

I witnessed an unexpected Rube Goldberg Machine of animals on Sunday morning.

Realizing that I was about to go outside to feed the horses, doggie Mae ran into the living room, dropped her ball, and chased it toward the kitchen table.

Doggie Conrad got excited and ran towards kitty Oliver, who jumped up on the cart on which I feed the cats.

Merlin, who was on the cart, jumped down and then up to the kitchen counter in a panic, sliding across the counter and knocking to everything… including the bowl of chicken covered by a dinner plate.

The dinner plate slide off the bowl and crashed onto the floor, breaking into many shards.

Then everyone calmed down… and the cleanup began.

My Husband’s Secret Power

 Posted by on 18 March 2014 at 2:00 pm  Funny, Personal
Mar 182014
 

After SnowCon, those of us staying Chez Hsieh — meaning, Tom, Arthur, William, Paul, and me — played a game of Cards Against Humanity. Here were the result of one round:

The black card was the question that Paul posed… and Arthur (I think) gave him the white card as the possible answer. I laughed so hard that I nearly cried… because it’s just so damn perfect!

The Truth about Science Projects

 Posted by on 17 March 2014 at 2:00 pm  Education, Funny, Science
Mar 172014
 

Heh.

NASA Cover-Up Conspiracy Revealed!

 Posted by on 24 February 2014 at 12:00 pm  Cool, Film, Funny
Feb 242014
 

Mock Commercial for Beans Is Better Than Almost Any Real Commercial for Anything: “Visual effects studio Cinesite produced this crazy-good mock commercial as a way to show off its creature animation skills.”

As Paul said, “I think that there’s been a NASA cover-up. They didn’t want us to see this video.”

Jan 182014
 

When I return home after a few hours away, the various members of my menagerie of beasts respond in basically the following ways:

Dogs: You’re home! OMG, we’re so excited to see you! YAYAYAYAY! We’re going to celebrate by running around outside. Don’t worry, we’ll be back in a few minutes, after we’ve sniffed some stuff. We’ll want to lie near you, just because we missed you so much.

Cats: Why were you gone so long? We were hungry. Feed us now. Also, don’t do that again; it’s just not fair to us.

Horses: Yo.

Punctuation. Matters!

 Posted by on 13 January 2014 at 1:00 pm  Funny, Language
Jan 132014
 

Read this carefully. It is brilliant!

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