I thought I’d do a roundup of crazy that I’ve seen in NoodleFood and Facebook comments, just for your amusement. Here’s a recent comment on this blog post… as if I agree with Kant?!? Or something, who knows. (I always appreciate these kinds of apologies too.)
Here’s another… and yeah, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!
And then we have these gems:
Oh, and I love how this dude goes from subjectivism to EMPHATIC DOGMATISM in a heartbeat:
Paul and I are on vacation, and yesterday, we hiked six miles along “Cucumber Stream” near Breckenridge. At the mid-point of our hike, I waded into said stream in my Vibrams to cool off my feet. The stream was not merely cool, but OMFG COLD!! After just a few seconds, my feet got “brain freeze.” (Really, the feeling was just the same, only in my feet.)
Here are some choice pictures that Paul Hsieh took as I walked back through the water to the blessed shores of dry land.
I swear that I was not hamming it up for the camera. That water was was insanely cold.
Tip #1: Use a cover. Every time. There are many fancy ones on the market. Damask. Lace-trimmed. Or how about a swaddling cloth (if it’s good enough to warm the baby Jesus, it’s good enough for your kid)? Statistics show that human beings love being in confined spaces. Babies are on their way to becoming full humans, so this applies to them as well. I personally eat many of my meals under a loosely draped fitted sheet in my bedroom and find it quite enjoyable.
Please do not use summer as an excuse to flash your flesh-toned milk bags. Just last week I ate an entire Italian sub under a handmade quilt in 90 degree weather skin-to-skin with a close friend to simulate summer breastfeeding. Were we hot? Yes. Were we uncomfortable? Yes. Did one of us briefly lose consciousness? Yes. Did we subject anyone to seeing nipples? NO.
Tip #2: Use a bathroom. Who doesn’t love a public restroom? They’re full of exotic scents and sounds! The next time your needy baby starts fussing for a taste of chest drippings, run to the nearest stall or city outhouse.
Nursing standing up while trying to avoid bacteria and holding a wriggling child has the added benefit of strengthening your core muscles. That postpartum tummy will be gone before you know it, making you more attractive to the general public. It’s summer, after all — bikini season!
On a more serious note, I answered a question about public breastfeeding on the 8 April 2012 episode of Philosophy in Action Radio. If you’ve not yet heard it, you can listen to or download the relevant segment of the podcast here:
For more details, check out the question’s archive page. The full episode – where I answered questions on cultivating good luck, public breastfeeding, national identification card, mulling over memories, and more – is available as a podcast too.
I’m a panicker, list maker, social sharer, sidetracker, snacker, gamer, watcher, and a perpetuator! So yeah, I’m a pretty stellar procrastinator!
The creator of this gem — Twenty Pixels — has awesome coffee mugs for sale based on it. Go check them out!
On a more serious note, check out these interesting articles on procrastination:
How I Stopped Procrastinating: Merrill Markoe writes “Here’s what I learned: First thing in the morning, before I have drowned myself in coffee, while I still have that sleepy brain I used to believe was useless — that is the best brain for creative writing. Words come pouring out easily while my head still feels as if it is full of ground fog, wrapped in flannel and gauze, and surrounded by a hive of humming, velvety sleep bees.”
Why Writers Are the Worst Procrastinators: Megan McArdle makes a compelling case that procrastination among writers is often the product of smart people relying too much on natural talent, as opposed to effort, and thereby adopting a “fixed mindset” about their work. That’s been a major realization for me.
The Surefire First Step to Stop Procrastinating: I often use this technique — whereby I make a deal with myself that I only have to work on this project for, say, 30 minutes, and then I can quit if I’m not into it — and it’s quite helpful. Maybe I should lower my threshold to 5 minutes though!