I always delete random illiterate religious spam from Philosophy in Action’s Facebook Page … but not until I’ve made proper fun of it.
May 152013
May 132013
Charles Ramsey Rescues Three Women, Gives Greatest Interview in the History of Television:
He’s colorful throughout, but the end put me in stitches! (Of course, I’m so mostly glad that those three women were able to escape that monster. More details about the horrifying case are here.)
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May 122013
May 082013
Man’s wife drinks of bottle of wine and tells a bad punny joke badly. He animates it. The result is… well, awesome: “Two Chips” / An Animated Short.
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Apr 272013
Naughty kitty Merlin loves prosciutto ham so very much — and he’s completely unconcerned about my unwillingness to let him assault me and me my plate — that I have to eat it standing in the middle of the room while holding my plate in my hand. Even then, he begs and wiggles and wiggles and begs from the nearest perch, with eyes as wide as saucers, like this:
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Apr 262013
On Tuesday, I posted this question to Philosophy in Action’s Queue:
Do unfit parents have a right to procreate? Courts today seem to hold the view that people have a right to procreate. As a result, wholly unfit parents can produce child after child. Even if the court removes the latest child from the home when very young, some abuse or neglect must have already occurred. In fact, the child might have health problems at birth due to drug abuse, alcohol consumption, or lack of proper medical care by the mother during pregnancy. Does the current system respect the rights of unfit parents at the expense of their kids? Instead, should unfit parents be required to adopt out any new children they bear? Should serial abusers be forced to take birth control or even sterilized?
The posting of it to Facebook spawned a highly entertaining thread… entertaining, mostly thanks to the repeated crazy-hostile comments of someone by the name of “Stephen Cole.” It began as barely coherent bashing of Ayn Rand:
Then he went in an entirely wacky direction:
Yipee! Now I can check get yourself called a “pimp fascist philosopher” by some random jackass on Facebook off my bucket list!
Of course, I posted a screenshot of that to Facebook, because it was just too funny not to share. Even better, I asked Rory Hodgson to make a video of a dramatic reading, as we’d just been talking about that this morning. (I was inspired by this: Michael Shannon Reads the Insane Delta Gamma Sorority Letter.) He did it, and it’s awesome!
Also, Tori Press altered my business cards in a fabulous way:
I tell ya, I get THE BEST CRAZY… and I’m so glad, because laughing at it with friends is so much fun!
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Apr 232013
All cats are weird… just in different ways. Here are our three cats on cuddling, in a nutshell:
Kitty Oliver
Cuddle? Never! That’s just another of your secret plots to kill me! I will satisfy my need to cuddle by sleeping on your chest when you are not a threat — namely, while you sleep.
Kitty Elliot
I have an intense desire to cuddle you for the next five minutes, and you are required pay full attention to me and only me. After that, I will treat you with the scorn you so richly deserve… until I desperately need another cuddle, that is.
Kitty Merlin
OMG, I missed you while you were gone for five minutes! Can we please cuddle on the sofa for… um… two hours? Yup, just flop me into whatever position you prefer. Of course, I’ll purr the whole time!
Alas, Merlin is often too busy being naughty for such delightful cuddling!
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Apr 152013
Oh, my… the question of how to properly punctuate sexual desire is indeed a tricky (and damn funny) one. Here’s a tidbit:
Technically, you could fix this with a semicolon….
“You smell so good; it’s making me stupid.”
In some ways this is the right thing to do. A semicolon is the official way to show two independent clauses have a close relationship to each other.
Here’s the problem: Semicolons are for wankers. Seriously. You can go your whole life without ever needing to really use a semicolon.
Unless you’re an academic, of course. If you’re an academic, you’ve got to use semicolon to impress other wankers with how much of a wanker you are so you can get your paper published. You know, that paper you wrote detailing your in-depth Marxist interpretation of the last eight lines of John Donne’s “The Flea?” The paper where you used the word “moreover” twenty-seven times in eleven pages?
Most importantly, a semicolon looks really strange in a piece of casual dialogue. People don’t speak using semicolons. Unless they’re wankers.
I love semicolons… but colons are even more fabulously wankerish!
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Apr 112013
Today is WTF Day, a holiday that I created a few years ago in response to some inordinate amount of WTFery on that day. I don’t remember what happened that day, but I put “WTF Day” on my calendar, so here we are!
On this grand holiday, do not indulge in any WTFery yourself. Also, please avoid becoming the victim of other people’s WTFery. Instead, pop the popcorn and laugh at the WTFery of others from afar.
Here’s my favorite WTFery of the day:
I’m not sure what I enjoyed more… the driver’s screaming like a little girl on seeing the cost of the ticket … or the police officer calmly telling the man that he would cite him for littering if he didn’t pick up the papers dropped in that hissy fit.
Oh, and be sure to whisper a prayer to the WTFairy, with suitable awe and reverence, lest she rain extra doses of WTFery upon you over the next year!
