This article — The Boat He’ll Never Have: Funny Things The Non-Horsey Say — has a pretty hysterical collection of stuff that non-horse people say to horse people. My inner paleo loves this one:
I was in the middle of one of my horsey filibusters, and my boyfriend felt like trying to add to the one-sided conversation. He put on a semi-snooty voice and in all seriousness said, “We’ll be entering in the amateur hunter-gatherer division.”
He paused, frowned and realized that wasn’t quite right. He’ll catch on soon enough.
But this anecdote was the best, by far:
We were expecting a semen delivery but had to go out, so I left a note for FedEx on the front door. As we were getting into the car, my husband read the note and raised an eyebrow. “Are you really going to leave that note?” he asked me.
“Yes,” I responded, wondering what the problem was. We got in the car, drove off, and every once in a while he exploded laughing.
Here’s what I’d written: “Dear FedEx Man, If I am not here, please leave semen on doorstep.”
It took me some time to figure out why my husband kept laughing.
“What I found out later was that the FedEx driver took my note back to the depot, and it was stuck up on the bulletin board!” Rogers added.
It takes a special kind of person to realize that such a note isn’t quite appropriate… it takes a farm gal!