Finding Good Prospects for Romance and Friendship
By Philosopher Dr. Diana Hsieh
Many people lament the difficulty of finding good prospects for a lasting, deep, and happy romance. Others have trouble finding worthwhile friends. Yet most people who bemoan the lack of prospects could be doing much more than they are to increase their odds of success. Too many people don't adopt a purposeful approach but instead wait passively... and complain.
This 90-minute podcast discusses how to make yourself a good prospect – and how to find good prospects – for romance and friendship.
Below, you can preview over 30 minutes of the podcast. Then, purchase access to the full 90-minute podcast for just $15.
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- Duration: 31:53
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The structure of podcast is as follows:
- Opening remarks
- A bit of theory:
- Types of social relationships, visualized as a target
- Major axes of compatibility in relationships
- Practical advice:
- Make yourself a good prospect
- Expand your social network
- Engage with other people
- Cultivate your social skills
- Questions and answers from pledgers:
- How can a person get better at evaluating other people's characters when meeting them?
- When should I reveal a psychological problem like bipolar disorder to someone I'm dating?
- Closing remarks
Remember, the podcast doesn't just concern finding good prospects for romance but also for friendship. So even if you're happily attached, you'll likely find the techniques of use.
This podcast was originally funded by pledges, and it's now available for purchase for $15. You can pay online via Dwolla or PayPal. Or you can send a check or money order via the US Mail, including with your bank's bill pay service. If you want to pay by some other method, choose "Other" below and explain in the comments. I recommend using Dwolla: it's a payment system with lower fees, stronger security, and better interface design than PayPal. A Dwolla account is free and easy to create.
Terms of Sale: You may share the podcast with members of your household, but not beyond that. Do not ever post the podcast in any public forum.
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The response to the podcast has been very positive, including the following remarks:
I can't tell you how valuable I've found your podcast on romantic relations! To start, and as you mentioned yourself, it was just as applicable and valuable to more 'ordinary' relations. Simply thinking of the relations you have with people in terms of acquaintances/friends/close friends and whether the time and effort you spend is in line with your values is a powerful tool.
You mentioned the danger of limiting judgement in romance to a purely 'sense of life' level, and I think you struck on the biggest problem most people, myself included, have with romance! Really analyzing your own values and how they mesh, or clash, with others is vitally important in even casual friendships, and not carrying that over to romantic relationships leads, well, nowhere!
And the simplest advice of all, "doing nothing is a recipe for getting nothing!" It's good to be reminded that identifying ourselves as Objectivists doesn't automatically make us immune from the dangers of following our guts over our heads, or being passive! We still have to act, so thank you for your work in applying excellent principles to the actions all too many of us leave to chance!
Since downloading Diana's podcast on Finding Romantic Prospects, I've listened to it no less than four times. It's so inspiring and motivational - I love it!! What's really cool for me is that it's about way more than finding romantic prospects (I'm married, so that's not an issue).
I am an introvert who happily coasts along in her comfort zone by hiding in the background at social gatherings, listening to conversations without jumping in, reading email lists and blog posts without commenting, avoiding speaking with people I don't know – kind of a more passive take on the world, more observing and less engaging. Once in awhile I try to break out of my shell - and Diana's podcast has given me great motivation to break out of my shell, take some risks, challenge myself, put myself "out there" and get out of my comfort zone! Now I'm implementing ways to push myself to be more outgoing and connected – like signing up for Toastmasters, working on my introduction emails for the OLists, approaching and talking to strangers at parties and in various settings, jumping in on OList discussions and various blogs.
Diana's podcast is the best kick-in-the-butt I could have imagined to expand my social network, improve myself to get myself together, take control of my and get out there!! That's is worth so much more than what I paid, and I'm looking forward to her next one!
I found this podcast very useful in my life. I put it to work at OCON [in 2010] and found that I had Diana's voice in my head many many many times throughout the conference. OCON was FILLED with social situations where I was surrounded by new people (I have always been an introvert when in comes to environments like that) but instead of feeling awkward, I practically instantly felt camaraderie with so many of the people there. Now I am sure a large part of this simply had to do with the nature of the people attending OCON to begin with, but whenever I was standing in conversation with a group of people, I continually would catch myself doing the things Diana points out NOT to do in this podcast and would immediately correct what I was doing. Usually this was involving my body language such as having my arms crossed in front of me when talking to people.
Additionally, I very much noticed OTHER OCON attendees putting Diana's advice in this podcast to work as well and I took note of how effectively it worked for them too! I guess the secret is out!